Coffee Rhetoric

Last night, I was reading the September issue of InStyle Magazine. I learned of new and exciting gadgets that I cannot afford, the lip-glosses of the moment, that a magenta lip is better than a red lip, and that ballerina and pointy-toed flats are in, respectively... and that women with high arches will have a difficult time wearing flats and should therefore, get a pair of those shoe insert thingies to wear inside the shoe, in addition to various other fun facts of the like. I learned what celebrity it people, in varying degrees of pose, found sexy now. InStyle asked different celebrities like Eve, Diddy, and Jessica Alba prying questions about what they found sexy. Apparently, Ms. Alba believes there is nothing like "getting a little loving from your man" in the morn' time. Eve finds diamonds sexy... and Diddy? Well, apparently he once washed a woman's hair "old school style" with a pan... letting the water drip down her neck, rinsing the shampoo from his flame's hair, as she sat in the bathtub. Mandy Moore believes that catching a glimpse of a woman's lacy La Perla bra, peeking out from underneath her blouse, is sexy. As much as I don't give a shit about what Jennifer Garner finds sexy about Ben Affleck- (his capped teeth? I don't know... maybe?)- or that Diddy finds "truth in the eyes, that's why I wear shades all the time" because it's an"intimate thing" for someone to be looking into his eyes (insert me, rolling mine)... these questions have prompted me to do my own Q & A... using the same line of questioning as InStyle magazine. Ladies and Gents, I will relay what I find sexy now. Sexiest Scenario? - Going to a free, outdoor jazz festival, with a picnic basket filled with cheese, a baguette, wine tumblers, and a bottle of red wine. That is one sexy scenario to me. Most Erotic Body Part? -The hands. And skin. Hard, calloused hands or sweaty squishy ones for that matter, do nothing for me. Hands that feel like crushed velvet (not too soft, not too hard, and not too beaten up) are sexy to me. Skin that's not pockmarked or laden with razor bumps is sexay. Blue Jeans or Black tie? -Both. Blue jeans that aren't too snug or too big are sexy, with a nice clean t-shirt and just a peek (a peek) of the underwear band... but I do like to see a man in a tuxedo or a nice suit. Men don't dress up anymore. Seeing the effort every now and again is very appealing to me. Bookstore or Bar? -Bookstore, mos def. for obvious reasons. If you want to meet quality ass (for more than a night) you have to hang out in quality places. First thing in the morning or last thing at night? -All of the above. Morning even better, not a bad way to start the day. The only thing besides coffee, that would more than likely jumpstart anybody's day. Sexiest Moment? -Any moment when you're with someone you truly care about and love, and you're sitting in silence... simply enjoying each other's company... words not needing to be exchanged. Unexpectedly erotic body part? -The collar bone and the pelvis where that, which is shrouded in mystery, lives. Sexiest material against the skin? -Cotton. It's crisp, it's cool, and it's comfortable. Lingerie or Naked? -Naked can be good, but lingerie (not the cheesy, lace teddy kind) can keep them wondering... and guessing... and hoping... plus, the idea of tea bagging/dunking on furniture is a bit of a turnoff. Think Seinfeld's good naked/bad naked episode. What reveals truth? -Diddy said it... the eyes are the windows to the... blah blah blah. Intentions reveal a person's truth as well. Hunter or prey? -I like to be wooed. I like to see men making that effort. Sexiest Accessory? -A good, chunky watch and a great pair of Moroccan style, chandelier earrings. Mountain Cabin or Beach Hut? -An outdoor cafe somewhere in the Mediterranean. Favorite Accent? -Italian or British. British, for sure. Brains or Brawn? -Definintely brains. If a man can't add or subtract and can't take the time up pick up a book, who gives a shit how big his muscles are or how tight his six-pack is... he'd still be a bore. Foreplay or Afterplay? -Afterplay ... a man who rolls over and passes out into a loud, obnoxious sleep is depressing. Best place to sleep? -Comfy pallet on the floor. Kiss or cuddle? -Prince said it best... Kiss. Sunrise or Sunset? -Sunrise... you can feel like you're the only two in existence... while the rest of the world is still asleep. Old friend or complete stranger? -I don't like to kick dead corpses. Strangers are intriguing... I enjoy getting to know those I've just met. It's a slow progression. Love or lust? -Lusting in/for love. Roses or Wildflowers? -Wildflowers... Irises, Lilacs, Lavender, Birds of Paradise... Bath or Shower? -Bath. You take particular care in the bath. Romantic gesture? -The unexpected. Like bringing home take-out and a movie. Saturday night, Sunday morning, or Tuesday Afternoon? -Sunday morning. Sexiest season? -The early start of Fall. Wink or smile? -A smile says a whole lot... it lights up a person's face. A wink is sorta cheesy and can be quite lascivious. Sexiest gesture? -Grabbing someone's hand and holding it... across a table, walking down the street, sitting in a theatre... etc. Sexiest destination? -Paris or the Mediterranean. Caviar or chocolate? -My chocolate addiction dictates that I say... well... chocolate. Sweet or hot? -Hot. I love spicy food.