Friends. How many of us have them?

According to a recent study, Americans are more socially isolated than they were 20 years ago. A whopping more than 50 percent of people surveyed, said hey had two of fewer confidants, and counted family members as their “friend circle.” Some even said that they had “zero” close friends. This is unfortunate. And it says a lot about what type of social infrastructure we’ve become. Look around at the sorts of incidents that are unfolding around us, and you’ll find that this isn’t all that surprising.

I value the strong ties I have with my family, but I also value the close friendships I’ve forged, equally as much. I talk about my ace, Cat, on this blog a great deal. The friendship we have is very important to me. While we live in different states, and she travels out of the country often, our friendship means a lot to me. It’s in the top five most important things in my life.

I write (and talk) a lot about being solitary in the romance department, but having a significant other doesn’t even come close to the strong friendship I have with my best friend. We vent, we cry, we drink, we’re similar, we’re different. We laugh, we have disagreements, and more importantly, we accept one another’s differences and offer each other valuable advice. As tough as nails, as I come across to people, I have to be honest… I’d feel downright pitiful and anti-social if I didn’t have at least ONE or TWO close friends to call my own. Having someone to laugh and share sordid secrets balances me out. One blaring and significant aspect of the study reports that “Non-whites and people with less education tend to have smaller social networks than white Americans and the highly educated.”

I met Cat in college. We were two of only a handful of Black people on campus. Surprisingly the two of us gravitated towards one another, after a little bit of reservation on my part. Uncommon, considering the other Black people who rounded out that handful opted to go the opposite route, to ensure their social ascendancy. This data is also demonstrative of the disintegration of the Black community and the decline of social networking within our neighborhoods. (I can only speak from the perspective of being Black. I don't know how it is with other ethnicities). We don’t support one another anymore, the way we used to. I think it is crucial that we foster more friendships within our community (especially Black women). This is why I cherish my friendship with Cat. I worked and interacted socially with a young Black woman who revealed to me, that she wasn't friendly (or trustful) of many Black women, and that I was the only one she even bothered getting to know outside of work. Sad, unfortunate. I was a little taken aback.

According to this study, “in daily life, personal emergencies and national disasters such as Hurricane Katrina, those with the fewest resources also have the fewest personal friends to call for advice and assistance.” *sigh* I don’t need to point out the disparity between the adquate and the impotent during this natural catastrophe. I wont even go there. You've seen and read about the what and the why. Aside from the economic and ethnic disparities and reasons as to why some of us have closer friendships than others, I think, overall, that Americans tend to value work more than personal relationships. We've become a society of workaholics and don’t make the time to network and build personal bonds with one another. All I can say is that I’m glad that I have friends. It’s a small circle, but that is quite alright with me. I couldn’t fathom having to fall into hysterics, share, bounce ideas, and just indulge in the mundane, all by myself. What a lonely existence, to not have anybody to laugh, cry, and build with. Forging strong friendships and allegiances, would probably alleviate some of the problems this nation is stricken with .